I don’t believe that
family is determined by genes.
It’s not the people speak
like you, or look like you,
Or the people you
used to see at family reunions.
After all,
There are people
whose families throw you out for who you love
Or the grades you got,
Or the tattoo you got
when they weren’t looking.
There are families that touch you in places
that, one day, will have to be shown on a doll,
Families that leave bruises
on your body,
And, even worse, on
your mind.
Sometimes, there are
people you just straight up can’t bring yourself to like
Let alone, love or
call relation.
I have friends whose
friends are more a family then their blood will ever be.
They say that blood
is thicker than water.
Well, maple syrup is
thicker than blood,
And I’ve shared some
pretty good pancakes with people other than my family.
See, we don’t get to
choose our family.
But, we get to choose
who treats us like a family.
We get to pick who
brings us back down to earth,
Who tells us when we
are just like that one star in the night sky,
Who holds our hair
when we are too drunk to do it ourselves,
Who risks the flu to
bring us chicken soup,
Who forgives us when
we call them a “scum-sucking road whore.”
Who we forgive when
tell us our point of view is “up our ass.”
Who tell us we are
good enough.
Pancakes, stars,
soup, “scum-sucking road whores,” and asses.
They are the people who make it all worth
it.
That’s what family is
made of.
Beautiful. It got a lot more intense than I thought it would very quickly- but I think it was perfectly placed. Sometimes it's hard to go from sexual abuse to sharing pancakes- but your subtle humor and your unapologetic realness helped tie the two images together. The message in your poem is wonderful. It's true, we cant pick our families (as noted in "Begotten") and it takes a lot of bravery (and sometimes necessity) to find the familial ties in others. Very beautiful poem- easy to read, sparks immediate emotions, very nice images of what it means to truly be thick as thieves with another person. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this poem. I definitely agree that our real family is the family we choose. I like this poem's sassyness, and that even though it touches on serious topics, it still leaves the reader happy and empowered. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your poem. A long time ago, I realized that friends are the family WE choose. I feel this is an important realization for young people who feel alone or somehow disconnected from their families, for whatever reason. I like that you did not censor yourself in the poem. I believe that honesty is key in life and if you cannot be true to yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to be true to you. Thank you so much for sharing!
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